When making decisions, be honest, do you go with what you feel or what you think? For me personally, I always choose heart over brain, feeling over thinking. All the time. I can’t recommend it for everyone, especially not the faint hearted. I can’t promise happiness if you choose this path, but the pain also remains uncertain. When choosing logic however, happiness is much further off the path, but there is even less pain involved. Now if you read back over what I just wrote, it looks like there is no difference. Actually it even looks like that for me, even though I wrote the thing. But I swear, there is a whole other world of difference between those two explanations. I’m going to attempt to get into that, and you know me, the only way I can do that is by talking about my personal experiences. But, as always, I will do my best to write about it.

It’s a Friday evening for me, writing this. Friday evenings are the worst, see, because Friday evenings are usually when we would spend time together. We would talk about the week that’s gone past, we would laugh, we would smile…we would be us. We would be us till late. At the time, these moments were amazing. They easily became my favourite part of any given week or month. We had no care for what the future might bring, even though it’s shadowing the back of our minds. Back then, the most important thing was that we spent amazing times together. This is how it is for me. The heart wins, every single time. Logic barely ever makes a dent. Did I know that I was in for some form of heartache in the future? Yeah, probably. Did I continue down the path anyway? Absolutely. But why, why would you do that, you ask? The answer is and always will be simple for me: It’s because I choose feeling over logic, the heart over the brain.

Most people I know tell me I’m silly and naive, and that things don’t work this way. Most people I know would just tell me this is a stupid way to be, and that I need to learn to handle things differently. Most people I know would just flat out tell me to get over myself. The problem is, all these things above are exponentially hard to do if you’re very feeling-oriented, and frankly, I’m not going to change who I am and the way I act simply because a few people think I’m stupid or naive. There are only a couple of people who have the right to tell me to change, and they earned this right because they listen to me whenever I need them, they listen earnestly, they try to help and they are never condescending or hostile. They just sit and listen, like amazing people. I know they’re not going to tell me to change, because no good person should ever tell anybody else to change. Not for anybody, not for anything.

As I said above, choosing the heart over the brain when it comes to specific situations is ironically not for the faint-hearted. Feelings over logic will grant you happiness in the moment, but also leaves your future-self possibly unprepared for pain and potential heartache. When choosing the heart over the brain, you will feel happiness. You will be happy in that moment. I know I’ve said this before, but the heart represents our desires in it’s truest and rawest form. Yes, rawest is a word, I just checked on google. Sounds weird right? I know. But it means most raw, just in case. Okay, so, back on topic. Following your heart will almost always lead you to happiness, because of what I just said two lines above. It represents our true desires. However, what this doesn’t prepare you for are any backlashes or potential pain in the future. The person or thing you’re choosing your heart over your brain for, your feelings over any logic…you better be damn sure that they are worth the risk. For me, I knew she was worth any risk. I would risk it all again, pain and heartache and everything, if I knew I could make her think twice about a future with me.

On the flip side of this coin, is logic. The brain. One of the pre-requisites of choosing this path I’m sure is one that requires you having emotions of stone. I can guarantee you choosing this logic over feeling will bring you a relative amount of pain at that moment, but almost ensures you receive close to no heartache for the future. It’s a way of protecting yourself from potential heartbreak, from pain, but it’s also a way to close yourself off from happiness in the moment. The choices that our brain gives us represents our desires as well, but in a form that’s already been whittled down through a deduction of our feelings and emotions by logic. Choosing logic over feelings should be what most people would want to do, however, when faced with decisions regarding specific situations or matters of the heart, we all know that we lean towards the heart, not the brain. It takes one hell of a person to be able to turn the heart away and listen to logic.

There is no right or wrong choice here. All there is is what we are, what we want and ultimately what makes us happy; any time, any place. I can’t tell anybody to choose logic over feeling or vice versa, much like how people can’t tell me not to choose the heart over the brain. As far as I’m concerned, I feel no regret. I feel yearning; I miss her so much and it’s only beginning to get worse every passing day, but I wouldn’t change anything I did in the past. Sure I think about how some choices I made would’ve led me to a happier place instead of where I am now, but then I wouldn’t have been able to know what a truly beautiful and amazing person she is. There are no regrets from me. I’ve always lived my life according to my heart, not my brain. No one in this world can tell me to change that, and if they do, well…up theirs. As long as you can live with yourself after the decisions you make, no one can denounce the choices you make for yourself. I may not be happy now, but I know how I felt when I was with her. Living with myself right now is just a slight repercussion of how I am, and how I always will be. I don’t think, I feel.

Advertisements