Hello, I’ve missed you quite terribly. This song is great. Check it out if you haven’t heard it before, Here (in your arms) by Hellogoodbye. Anyway while listening to this song and coincidentally pondering over the events of today, I came to the conclusion that one single word has enough influence, enough control to make or break someone’s entire day: “Hello”. The power behind this single word is immense. A simple hello from the right person could make someone’s day light up, regardless of how bad it’s already been. On the other side however, a neglect to say hello from again, the right person, could just shatter the rest of the day. I think people today specifically undervalue the word hello. I’m not saying this is true for everybody, but in movies and everywhere I see, there is always something else involved. In a world where boys talk to each other about ‘openers’ or ‘lines’ simply just to talk to a girl, Occam’s Razor can be used to great effect (thanks for this one Patrick Jane). To those unfamiliar with Occam’s Razor, it is a logic, a principle which can often be summarized as “other things being equal, a simpler explanation is better than a more complex one.” Basically, sometimes, one doesn’t need great openers or lines to start a conversation with that pretty girl that’s caught your attention. I mean, sure they help, especially if you use a clever one, but more often than not, girls see through the facade unless you’re well versed and are extremely confident with your words. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to just say hello, put that charming smile on…..and try not to be awkward. Easy right?!

I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I still miss her. Every day the urge to message her, to reach out and contact her just gets more and more uncontrollable. Sometimes I’ve found myself opening up her number and staring at the blinking cursor, waiting for the words to come to me so I can message her…but they never do. Well they do, but shoving aside all the crap and writing out a nice, well-thought message is a lot harder than some would think. Especially when you’re not supposed to be talking to the object of your message. I’ve written out simple messages, but neglected to press send at the end. Why? I don’t know. It got me thinking that maybe I should just say hello, a simple hi, how are you. But then that would be a bit weird, considering we’re not supposed to be contacting each other. I’ve never been good at pretending there’s nothing wrong.

So there’s this kid that I tutor that happens to cross paths with her pretty much every day. He comes to class yesterday and tells me that she says hi. I don’t think I could hide my surprise or smile. I asked him for details. Unfortunately, this kid likes to mess around a fair bit. He tells me that he was joking, but then he contradicts himself and tells me that everything he’s said is true. Then corrects himself and says he was lying…but then tells me he’s telling the truth. What? I don’t know. I don’t even know if he was being serious or not. All I remember is a feeling of elation and excitement, all because she said hello. I mean, it might not even have happened. For all I know this was a complete fabrication by that kid. I just can’t believe my happiness was affected by one simple word from a kid. Even if it was just a joke…I still felt happy(er) at that point in time. Geez, I’m a sap.

That was the one moment that started this whole post. The value of that one simple greeting. Five letters were enough to make me smile even just for a moment. What I wouldn’t give to know if she is missing me the way I am missing her. What I wouldn’t give to know whenever she’s thinking about me. Ooh, I would give a lot. Haha. Even something as simple as a “hi”. But you know, if she wanted to follow up with “hello, I miss you quite terribly” like the lyric, that’s also very appreciated. That’s less likely to happen though.

Okay, what you just read is a sample from my mind. It’s all jumped, there’s no real narrative and it’s just a concoction of emotions and feeling and experiences. It’s not that entertaining, nor is it that interesting (to most people, anyway). It goes completely against the tagline of my blog, I know. But that’s it, raw Winchesterz right above this paragraph. I don’t know how I’d feel if she actually stumbled upon this blog of mine and read everything. Relief? Nah. Excitement? Maybe a little. Anxiety? Most probably. Curiosity? Absolutely. My real question would be, though: is what I’ve written over the past months enough to coax her to say “hello” to me?

In a way, I hope so. But a part of me is scared of what would transpire if we started talking again. Where would we go from there? I can’t be friends with someone I feel this way about…It’s not possible. Every moment I end up spending with her I would want to grab her hand, or give her a hug or kiss her. Lavish her with affection and treat her like a queen. I guess only time will tell what’s going to happen, as always. I hate you, time.

Sorry if this was just one massive mixed ramble. I just needed to unload all my thoughts, and well, this blog is practically my 130910th journal of sorts, so I wrote a post about it. Happy readings!! Hah.